


Maybe I know somewhere, deep in my soul

by 3pineapples_in_a_trenchcoat



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Post-Episode: Accepting Anxiety, and the others are going to show him that with their actions, but SIKE, he does, since it seems like words aren't getting through, virgil feels like he doesn't belong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25705192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3pineapples_in_a_trenchcoat/pseuds/3pineapples_in_a_trenchcoat
Summary: “After ‘Accepting Anxiety,’ Virgil is officially part of the group. But he can’t help feeling like he doesn’t really belong”After realizing that Virgil is not being included in group activities, the others vow to do a better job within the mindscape of including him, even if Virgil himself doesn't realize it.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Maybe I know somewhere, deep in my soul

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by this animatic I saw a while back and it hasn't left my head, so I made this. I recommend you go watch the original.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4koAG1pQhd8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others realize there is a slight problem.

There’s something funny about being unwanted your whole life. 

Any time that you end up being wanted and cared for, it doesn’t make sense anymore. Not in the angsty way of “Oh, how could anyone ever love a creature such as myself? Woe is me”. 

Rather, when you live long enough like this, your brain simply no longer knows how to interpret it. It can’t read the signals in a language it has forgotten. And since the brain didn't see it, it didn’t happen. 

After ducking out, Virgil hadn’t expected any side to come after him. He was content to just fade away, be forgotten. If this was what it was then he was content to at least no longer be hurting Thomas. So to have all of them plus Thomas come after him blew his mind. 

Whatever their new development was, Virgil merely knew that he was accepted now. No more, no less. He could go out of his room and not be bothered. Patton could be openly kind to him, Logan could lose some of his apathy towards him, and Roman was no longer being mean to him. 

Having revealed his name to them, and being accepted for the function he is and serves, there's no reason to be mean to them back either. No more need to put up such a strong antagonistic persona when they promise to listen to him now. 

Days were now spent pleasantly, still trading barbs but the blows were now friendly between him and Roman. Logan still interrupted his negative comments but there was an aspect of reassurance to it, addressing his concerns rather than dismissing them. When his negativity was more pressing Patton comforting words actually addressed the situation rather than blindly promising him it would all turn out alright. 

But the others couldn't make him understand that it went beyond just their basic roles. 

Because the thing is, no matter how much they had shown or told Virgil that he was cared for, he didn't seem to see it beyond caring for his function rather than his person. 

You can tell them explicitly how much you love them, how much you care for them, even how much you want them around. You can tell them your life is better with them around and they’ll hear you. But if they can't ‘read’, they will never be able to see it. 

So you have to keep repeating it until they learn to read again. Repeat it until you drill it into their head. Until you drive it into their heart. A person can learn a lot of things from repetition. If they can learn to stay away due to the repetition of harsh words and the pain from not being wanted, then they can eventually learn they are wanted through the repetition of love as well. 

And that's exactly what the other sides were going to do for Virgil. 

* * *

A week ago they had accepted him. Before that they had been making efforts to be nicer, though it hadn't been enough to keep him from ducking out. 

Now all three of the core light sides had been making an effort to include him. They had to do better. They invited him to dinner, talked to him kindly, made an effort to reassure him when he looked troubled. Yet Virgil -as he had revealed his name to them- was still avoiding and shying away from them like usual. 

And it was fine, they had not been the greatest to him before so there was certainly going to be a period of adjustment, as Logan had put it, so they gave him his space. Regardless, they invited him to things, always letting him know he could join them whenever.

* * *

Virgil was sneaking around the part of the mindscape that held all of Thomas's knowledge and memories. Because it stored all the information Thomas had gained, everyone just called it the library. And because it was called the library, Roman felt the need to make it look like one. 

No one bothered him here. It was the one truly neutral room in the mindscape simply because everyone had access to the library. No one could forcibly ban anyone else from here since memories were a key part of every side. 

The only problem was that because Roman didn't like the others, he found a loophole to deter them. This was the only room sides couldn't sink or pop in or out of. And since no side could suddenly appear here, if anyone wanted to view a specific memory or access a certain piece of knowledge they had to walk.

Roman made everyone walk here, even himself, just to be annoying. Roman thought he was clever. Virgil just thought he was petty. 

Still Virgil liked coming here often. The lighting was soft, the carpet was decent, and there were many places to hide. It was quiet, and had a relaxing atmosphere similar to a real library. As a library, everyone treated it like one. Plus, this is where he pulled up all the embarrassing memories to scare Thomas with. 

He could get lost here for hours.

“Roman!”

Just not tonight it seems. 

Peeking around the corner he sees the other sides. Sitting at a table, Logan is yelling at Roman, who had stolen his knight piece.

Glaring at the piece, he says “This looks nothing like a knight!” 

Logan reaches out a hand to try and swipe at the piece, but Roman simply steps out of range. “Put it back!” Logan demands. Sitting at the table, with his other elbow on the desk, he looks only mildly frustrated as he glares at Roman. 

Continuing to hide behind the bookshelf, he observes the scene. 

Roman doesn't even seem to acknowledge Logan's demand, continuing with “And why isn't there a prince character?” 

As Logan and Roman continue to bicker, Roman demanding he be able to add a variety of characters to their game, Patton sits there chuckling. Sitting across from Logan, he has his head laid over his crossed arms. Facing away from Virgil, he can only guess that the warm and friendly side is smiling at the other two.

No one seems to have noticed him so far, so he stays quiet. No need to alert them to his presence just yet. 

That's right, it was Logan and Patton’s weekly chess game night. From the looks of it, Patton and Logan were in the middle of a chess game that Logan had been close to winning before Romans interruption. 

According to Patton this was something they had recently taken up in order to find a better balance between the two. Chess was fun for Logan, and being with Logan was fun for Patton. 

Virgil honestly had no idea where this clueless moron had come from, he’d probably entered through the door while he had been distracted. 

Either way, Virgil had had his fill of memories anyway. Better to leave now before he was discovered. He lets out a sigh, mourning his quiet night, before he sneaks around the room. Sticking close to bookshelves he takes soft steps to avoid detection. When he finally makes it to the door, he looks back. 

They look like they’re having so much fun without him. Back when he had first become a regular part of Thomas, he had wanted so badly to be included. He wanted to have conversations with them, join in on their jokes, laugh with them. 

These days he didn't want to interrupt them. He steps out. 

Hearing the door shut, Patton makes his way over to greet whoever had entered the room just in time to see a purple clad figure sink out. 

Dejected, he returns to his chair. 

Logan is still attempting to regain his piece from the other side. Roman addresses Patton as he sits down. “What's wrong, padre? My suggestion of a warrior princess not enough? Ooh, I should add a romantic subplot between her and a servant girl!”

Patton watches the two continue their game for a moment, before saying “Oh it’s nothing sport, it’s just…” he sighs “Virgil was just here, but he didn't join us”. 

Roman tilts his head questioningly “Well surely he would have joined us if he had wanted to hang out, right?”

Using this moment of distraction, Logan snatches the knight piece out of Romans hand, saying “Our acceptance of him is fairly recent, and we all know he takes to change rather difficulty. It takes an average of 66 days to change a habit, and he’s really only been fully accepted for about nine”. 

Patton lets out a whine, “But he’s always lived like this! What can we do!”

Not knowing exactly what to do, Roman pitifully suggests “We could be… nicer to him?” 

“That’s as good a start as any. Patton, if you would like I could draft a plan on properly integration and socializing Virgil-“ 

“-Hey wait a minute, he’s not an animal-” Roman interjects. 

Logan ignores him though as he continues “- though a full plan will not be ready for a few days as I will need to conduct a few observations. 

“We shouldn’t make it a big deal though, this is only the minimum of what he deserves. Plus he’s kinda skittish if everything already so we don’t wanna scare our resident emo” Roman says. 

“Logan buddy that sounds like a great idea! We’re so lucky to have such a smarty pants like you!” Patton smirks, “Lately Virgil’s been be- _ queen _ a  _ rook _ and a hard place in terms of love. But  _ reti _ or not Virgil, here we come!”

Letting out an exaggerated groan, Logan says “Honestly, that pun was apawning- I MEAN APPALLING!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Deceit off in the corner of this library quietly reading philosophy or something like “yessss bitch, self care of Thomas in a weird roundabout way, get it!”


End file.
